menu books shop free series submissions about contact links authors faq blog books shop about links Forum news submissions books authors shop free series submissions about faq contact links

click click

 

join the LegumeMan mailing list
* indicates required
 

Latest Releases

Lydius
By Avgi Meleti

Information is available here.

The Nocturne
By Steve Gerlach

Information is available here.


News

 

 

11/11/14

LYDIUS BY AVGI MELETI
NOW AVAILABLE

Lydius

LEGUMEMAN: A PLAY

Ekbeard the Small:
Say, where be Legumeman? T'is been many a quarter since we have been privy to their workings.

Grace Tenderdick:
I have heard rumours they absconded with the principal funds of Marsh injunction.

Ekbeard the Small:
Sacrilege! I shall'nt hear of it. Not in times such as this.

Grace Tenderdick:
I merely state that which it is of what it could be that I've heard from the Lancaster Gentlemen.

Ekbeard the Small:
A bouquet or rancid cocks, they are!

Grace Tenderdick:
Very well.

(Grace Tenderdick performs the dance of Chumptey)

Ekbeard the Small:
The books, man! Are they still exploring the books? I recall a time wherein they released a great many. It seems those times haven't been any time at all in recent times. Why it was only yesterday when my wife (Cherub Peter) asked me in a voice not unlike her own, "Why can't LegumeMan can anymore?". I slapped myself with a one half Jamie Oliver in response, I did.

Grace Tenderdick:
Very well.

Ekbeard the Small:
Perhaps there is a hot line we can call, or at least one we can write to requesting they call us?

Grace Tenderdick:
These are very modern times, Ekbeard the Small.

Ekbeard the Small:
Then it's settled! I shall pack a brief satchel and make haste for the planet of board games this very day.

Grace Tenderdick:
Very well.

(Grace Tenderdick performs the dance of Chumptey)

LEGUMEMAN IS BACK, BABY! We're going to end the year in a very different manner to the way we started. CLOTHED! We're so excited to announce the release of Avgi Meleti's astonishing new book, Lydius.


Lydius is a strange man. He comes from a family who love to torment each other in the most imaginative ways.

Lydius is the sun and all others are planets orbiting him. And they know it. And to know that you are just a small planet is rather devastating.

This novel is about devastated characters who eat flower petals, wear wigs, become lunatics, and hate each other in the most passionate of ways.

Pick up a copy of Lydius from Amazon in both paperback and Kindle formats. It is also available in other eFormats. More information available here.


Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

24/02/14

THE NOCTURNE BY STEVE GERLACH
NOW AVAILABLE

The Awakening

As 2014 draws to a close, LegumeMan Books are excited to announce our first release of the year. It's been a confusing year in many ways. Indeed, one of the first to terminate after February. I don't mind drastically shortened years, but as my birthday is in November, I am concerned I'll have never been born should we not reach November again. This will have what I like to call 'implications'.

Anywhoooo...

LegumeMan Books are very happy to announce the long-awated mass market release of Steve Gerlach's The Nocturne. The Nocturne is the latest in our ongoing quest to make the many out of print books penned by Gerlach available in readily available and affordable editions. The Nocturne is the third volume of the Gerlach Library, which also includes Love Lies Dying and Lake Mountain.

We hope you enjoy the latest resurrection. Help us celebrate Australian horror.

The fires were raging through Washington State. Nothing could withstand the fury. Easton, Lavender and Nelson lay in ruins. There was only one thing left to do now the fires had taken hold…
 
Flee. 

THE BUS 

A handful of residents from Ronald take a school bus, grab all the worldly possessions they can hold and escape the flames as the fires near their town. 

THE CADILLAC 

Donna and Kurt are camping in the Wenatchee National Forest when they hear the news. They need to get back to Ellensberg before the fires cut them off. They need to leave – pronto. 

“In the distance the dancing red curtain of flame and destruction rose into the night sky.” 

And then the sheriff detours them… 

Detoured onto a little-used and winding backroad that no one knows. Nobody knew what lay ahead – only what was behind them. 

They were all fleeing from hell. 

And they arrived someplace worse…

Pick up a copy of The Nocturne from Amazon in both paperback and Kindle formats. It is also available in other eFormats. More information available here.


Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 


 

07/12/13

TOPSIDERS BY SCOTT TYSON
NOW AVAILABLE

The Awakening

Well... the year is ending and Christmas is looming. You know what that means don't you, LegumeFolk? It's time for our annual roundup of all that's hot! 2013 was a smashing success in every way not pertaining to the healthy continuation of human beings as a species. Despite the gloom, there were still some truly wonderful things that made this year special and unique. So without further adieu, here is LegumeMan's annual list of HOT!

1. THE DEATH OF GUY SMILEY

guy smiley

With that out of the way, LegumeMan Books are very excited to announce the release of Scott Tyson's, Topsiders. Scott Tyson is a new voice in Australian horror, and we are deeply honoured to bring his first novel into the world. We gave you a taste of Tyson (great name for a one-man show) with his short story, Dear Santa as part of the free series. What a wonderful time of the year to acquaint yourself with that dark tale.

Topsiders is classic horror told with an undeniable passion for the genre. It is further evidence that Australian horror is thriving. We are very pleased to introduce you to Scott Tyson. I have a feeling it's a name you'll become very familiar with. Ladies and gentlepaps, Topsiders...

An abandoned house by the edge of the river. Uninhabited for decades.

A secret as old as time itself. A truth hidden from the topsiders. But that's about to change.

When all the adults suddenly disappear, Mathew convinces his older brother that something is very wrong. Their search leads them to a place they never knew existed.

A place that will have them question everything they knew about life.

Soon, the truth.

Pick up a copy of Topsiders from Amazon in both paperback and Kindle formats. It is also available in other eFormats. More information available here.


Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther


 

07/10/13

THE AWAKENING BY BRETT MCBEAN
NOW AVAILABLE

The Awakening

It's been a long time between drinks, gentle LegumeReader, but we are back with some wonderful news.

Brett McBean has become a LegumeMan fixture over the last few years. As one of Australia's leading writers of horror fiction, he is a fixture we are honoured to have. The Awakening is McBean's coming of age opus set amid a backdrop of voodoo and zombis. It is a deeply heartfelt work that accentuates what McBean does best. The Awakening was originally released by Tasmaniac Publications in a strict limited edition. LegumeMan's release marks the first time is has been made available for the mass market.

The Awakening is a labour of love that needs to be experienced.

For as long as he can remember, fourteen-year-old Toby Fairchild has been afraid of the strange old man living across the street. Along with the rest of the kids in the small Midwestern town of Belford, he sees the reclusive Mr. Joseph as the local bogeyman.

Mr. Joseph's life is an unhappy one. The memories of his past fill him with deep sorrow, and the kids of Belford have long been afraid of him, what with his unusual features and awkward gait.

However, when Toby accidentally discovers the remarkable truth about Mr. Joseph, an unlikely friendship develops. Over the course of the summer, Toby will come to know about pain and death; loss and the meaning of freedom, as Mr. Joseph recounts the incredible story of his past back in Haiti. A story laced with voodoo spirits, slave plantations, evil sorcerers...and zombis.

Toby will learn that monsters do exist - though not always where you expect to find them.

Pick up a copy of The Awakening from Amazon in both paperback and Kindle formats. It is also available in other eFormats. More information available here.


Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

01/07/13

ANTIPALADIN BLUES BY JESS GULBRANSON NOW AVAILABLE

Antipaladin Blues

Pinch and a punch for the first day of the month, you dainty cads.

We are ever so pleased to announce the release of Jess Gulbranson's, Antipaladin Blues. This is Jess' second book with us following 10 A BOOT STOMPING 20 A HUMAN FACE 30 GOTO 10 all the way back toward the start of 2011. Antipaladin Blues has had quite a tumultuous journey on its road to eventual publication. As Gulbranson explains in his afterword, this book nearly wasn't.

Somehow, amid the debris of personal tragedy and folded presses, this hilarious ode to role-playing games snaked its way to LegumeMan and we couldn't be more pleased to help this great book finally see the light of day. For those of you convinced that Antipaladin Blues was little more than a myth or existential riddle, we are here to debunk you.

Finally the book that nearly wasn't, is.

The city of D is in trouble. The forces of 'good' want to keep the people down, by using an iron fist in a velvet glove - but they're going to draw back an iron stump if Kannon has anything to say about it.

The world needs an antihero. Here he is in demonic armor, joined by an unorthodox wizard, an alchemist trying to break the glass ceiling, and the "Last of the red-hot Archliches" as they hack-and-slash their way through an irreverent postmodern bloodbath, dragged kicking and screaming from behind a GM's screen in your mom's basement.

.

Pick up a copy of Antipaladin Blues from Amazon in both paperback and Kindle formats. It is also available in other eFormats.


Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

24/04/13

JOHN'S WORLD BY R. FREDERICK HAMILTON NOW AVAILABLE

John's World

Greetings you devils.

When we were but babes of eighty-six we were put in the care of our twelve-year-old great-uncle, allowing our parents to focus on improving their abhorrent Yahtzee skills.  This stately fellow had been christened Stanley but insisted we refer to him as the Flange Train — the name, he claimed, had been gifted him by the very same time-travelling plumber who wreaked such havoc on our family line. In his telling, the moniker had been chosen to represent not only his strength and stability, but also his uncanny ability to mimic a steam engine. A skill that came in handy of an evening when it came time to herd us rickety scamps to bed. Resisting the urge to board the Flange Train was an impossibility. In no time at all we’d be tucked up, snug as a bug, while he read to us from the back of our favourite vinegar bottle, enraptured until our weariness grew overpowering and we’d drift off into increasingly malodorous fart-snoring.

It was a wonderful time for us. A period we recall with such wistfulness that we often insert it into unrelated website updates.

LegumeMan Books is positively bursting with excitement to announced that our next release John’s World has ventured forth into the world.

The epic saga of Dave Thomas and the apocalypse continues in R. Frederick Hamilton's eagerly awaited follow up to SHOULD HAVE KILLED THE KID.

Three months have passed since the apocalypse ripped through his world, destroying everything he'd ever loved. For Dave Thomas things have gone from bad to worse to truly bizarre. Imprisoned in the ridiculous lair of the powerful creature called John, forced to watch as he morphs the remains of Earth into an abomination, Dave's life has become a downward spiral of surreal misery which is only getting stranger.

Pick up a copy of John's World from Amazon in both paperback and Kindle formats. It is also available in other eFormats.


Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

02/03/12

Submissions Now Closed

Thank you to everyone who sent us manuscripts during our submissions period. The number was overwhelming. Apologies for the length of time it took us to get back to some of you. There are still some submissions we have yet to make our way through, so if you're still waiting to hear from us, it shouldn't be long now.

When submissions re-open, we will make the news as publicly available as we are able. Until then, thank you for your support.

Please direct all other enquiries here: info@legumeman.com


Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

05/02/13

AUTOPSY II: DARKNESS BURNING BY STEVE GERLACH NOW AVAILABLE

Buk and Jimmy

Where has the year gone? Don't you get annoyed as fuck when people say shit like that to you? I know I do. I make a habit of telling people the year is dragging by slowly just to short circuit whatever program exists within that makes them believe time is getting quicker, but I digress...

We have a few authors on our roster that I would call 'staple authors'. These are writerly types that deliver the goods again and again. That dude who wrote the jingle for the Bendigo Building Society ad is one of them. Steve Gerlach is another. We've made it our mission to ensure that all of Gerlach's highly coveted and long out of print back catalogue will be made available once more in the form of The Gerlach Library. Beyond this, we've encouraged the lad to release new writing into the world like some peace dove flying into another peace dove. The first book in his Autopsy trilogy, 'Flesh of the Dead', entered the world (like a peace dove, etc...) in 2010. Now the follow-up, 'Darkness Burning' is here to crash your party (like a peace dove)

"Things are always taken from us, all of us...from me."

Blood runs through the streets of Matheson. Along the gutters and seeping into the dark, musty tunnels below.

With more murders on their hands, the local police have no answers, fighting both the viscous predator and the vitriolic press.

Autopsy's reign continues, with no sign of defeat. Her confidence and strength growing with every single kill.

While the police call for calm, the vigilantes take control, with Carson Steins leading the nightly pack raids. Just as dangerous as the killer they hunt.

And with the infamy, comes the fame...

Dressed in black, with hideous make-up and splattered fake blood, Anarchy's Angels walk the midnight tour through the streets. Living the nightmare and then raving til dawn.

Events are spiralling out of control. Too many eyes. Too little time left.

Those hidden will soon be found.

The night is still young... and darkness will burn.

Pick up a copy of Autopsy II: Darkness Burning from Amazon in both paperback and Kindle formats. It is also available from our shop and other eFormats.


Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

03/01/13

BUK AND JIMMY GO WEST BY BRETT McBEAN NOW AVAILABLE

Buk and Jimmy

Happy New Year LegumePals,

We hope you've all entered the new year with something resembling vim. By now the turkey farts should have long since subsided and you can finally focus on living a life you don't find sickening. Us Gunthers spent the holiday period churning the LegumeMan butter and ejacubanging quality fiction.

Brett McBean has become a staple of the LegumeRoster since we re-released 'The Last Motel' back in the 40s. In that time he has kindly allowed us to use his good name to make us look better, and for that we thank him. Who better than to launch the new year with? We are very pleased to announce the release of his cinematic bloodfest, 'Buk and Jimmy Go West'.

Film obsessed psycho-killer Buk Thompson is on a bloody pilgrimage. Driving through the American Southwest, murdering his way to Hollywood, home of the stars that have been his only friends since childhood, Buk is having a ball, trimming the extras from this film we call life. When fate throws him in the path of the innocent Jimmy, Buk decides to take the boy on as a protégé and teach him the killing game.

The script calls for sadism, murder and movie trivia as the pair blaze their way west, but Jimmy is more than some mere supporting actor. Unexpectedly, old Buk finds he might have a chance at something he's never considered before. Redemption.

A little bit Badlands, mixed with a small helping of From Dusk Till Dawn, Buk and Jimmy Go West is one road trip that is wild at heart and 100% pure adrenaline. 

Celebrate the new year by picking yourself up a copy of Buk and Jimmy Go West from Amazon in both paperback and Kindle formats. It is also available from our shop and other eFormats.


Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

12/12/12

A FREE STORY FOR CHRISTMAS

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

This Christmas, more than anything else, I want a morsel of free fiction... preferably free fiction that will make me feel a bit yucky. I've heard of this Australian horror author called Scott Tyson who might have just the thing. He has a novel coming out in 2013 from LegumeMan Books called 'Topsiders' that I hear is pretty damn good, but before I read that, could you pretty pretty PLEASE give me some of his work for free? If it's not too much trouble, I would like a story that was originally published in Festive Fear 2 by Tasmaniac Publications. For some reason that detail is very important. If you give me this ONE thing, I promise to be good all year. If you don't, I'll fuck your eye socket.

Thanks Santa.
From Bobby Walker.

Download Dear Santa by Scott Tyson as a PDF here as a .mobi here or as an .epub here.

For many more free stories, go here.


Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

28/11/12

SUBMISSIONS ARE FINALLY OPEN

It's been a very long time coming, but LegumeMan Books are happy to announce that submissions to both out print and free series are OPEN. It seems we get asked every day when submissions will open and until now, we have always pointed toward the sky and made a hasty escape when your attention was diverted. We thank everyone for their patience and we look forward to reading what you have. Please refer to our submissions guidelines before sending your manuscript.


Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

26/11/12

Penetralia

As the buildup to Christmas approaches, the infamous 'LegumeMan vim' builds. First cab off the ranks in vim season is Jordan Krall's long-awaited, 'Penetralia'. Many Legume readers will be familiar with Krall's (increasingly prolific) output along with the development of his style. Krall made a name for himself with a number of Bizarro books released via Eraserhead Press. His early books, while possessing the unmistakable 'Krall vibe', were (for want of a better term) traditional Bizarro and relied on high concepts. With the release of 'Beyond the Valley of the Apocalypse Donkeys' on Copeland Valley in 2011, a new Krall emerged. While no less weird than his overtly Bizarro releases, this new style took place in a more recognisable world and explored human psychology in a deeply uncomfortable way. This is the trajectory Krall has maintained and refined throughout each book since.

Penetralia may be Krall's darkest book to date. Using the cult films of Andy Milligan as inspiration, the world depicted in 'Penetralia' is a deeply disturbing book that won't soon be forgotten. Krall is becoming a modern day Barry Malzberg and J.G Ballard, and it is a pleasure to be a part of this journey.

The stunning cover art was provided by LegumeMan favourite artist, Andrew Gallacher.

In the attic of his family home, Philip tortures abducted men in search of enlightenment. Using the knowledge left by his father, the Plague Doctor, he seeks to unlock the secrets of the universe, but weakness of the flesh won't be ignored. The sordid overtures of his nymphomaniac sister, combined with his own perverse desires, soil his subjects before revelation can be found.

Now the return of Philip's father is imminent. Judgment is at hand, and if the fate of his mother taught him anything, it's that one mustn't disappoint the Plague Doctor. 

You can pick yourself up a copy of Penetralia from Amazon or our shop with eFormats to come soon.


Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

08/10/12

Hammered

I've noticed a trend developing when updating this here website. It seems with each news item we add a musing regarding how infrequently updates occur. You might recall that our last update included an ingenious reference to Staind's seminal hit, 'It's Been a While' in an attempt to address this issue. Well... no longer. You, dear reader, are not interested in our shedding light on the self-evident anymore than we are. That said, we will still make references to Staind's seminal hit, 'It's Been a While' with regular gusto.

With that out of the way, we are very pleased to announce our latest release: Bradley Sand's 'TV Snorted My Brain'. Fans of Bizarro will no doubt be familiar with Sands' highly singular writing via his releases on Afterbirth Books, Raw Dog Screaming Press and, most recently, his work on Lazy Fascist. With each new book, Sands further proves that there is no one else remotely like Sands. His work is a absurdist sensory overload, bypassing reason and exploding in giddy laughter. I repeat... there is NO ONE else like Bradley Sands.

The stunning cover design comes courtesy of the great, Pierre Iloga

Artie Pendragon loves anarchy, pee wee soccer games, and midget wrestlers. He really hates high school, but his plan to blow up his school is interrupted when he is declared the king of TV Land. After taking the throne, Artie's pro-wrestling, non-midget uncle steals it from him and enforces a strict policy of censorship throughout the land. To defend himself against his uncle's piledrivers and take back what is rightfully his, Artie must go on a quest for the Holy Grail, which is the only thing that will make his Excalibur 3000 remote control work properly.

TV Snorted My Brain is a modern-day retelling of the King Arthur myth that happens inside your television set. Come along with Artie as he journeys through the various channels of TV Land and recruits knights along the way to help him overthrow his uncle and bring anarchy to the land.

You can pick yourself up a copy of TV Snorted My Brain from Amazon in both paperback and Kindle formats. It is also available from our shop and other eFormats.


Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 


 

25/07/12

Hammered

As Staind whined years ago: "it's been a while". This marks only the second time in our life we've agreed with Staind, and given the paperwork we need to fill out as a result, I doubt it will be happening again soon.

We have something that has been quite a LegumeMan rarity in the last couple of years... a new entry in our free series. LegumeMan Books would like to welcome Madeleine Swann to our stable of writery sorts. Her short story, 'Sweet Sweets Emporium' is a treat, and this sentence has turned into a worthy pun.

The Sweet Sweets Emporium is a cornucopia of confectionery delight, with sugary treats to fulfill even the most demanding sweet tooth. But one sweet reigns supreme... one sweet offers a little more than the rest. The 'Flying Carpets' won't just satisfy your sugar lust - they'll also take you to any point in history you wish to go. Just be careful of the Nazis... and let's hope the world as we know it doesn't start to fall apart.

To further entice the contents of your pants, we are offering this free story in your choice of PDF, .mobi or .epub. This is us officially admitting that our patented '.taint' eBook format hasn't been a success. Reports that the '.taint' version of '50 Shades of Grey' only includes 29 shades have been taken very seriously indeed. We take our hats off to all surviving eBook formats.

Download Sweet Sweets Emporium as a PDF here as a .mobi here or as an .epub here. Don't forget to check out all our other free offerings on our 'Free Series' page. In time, we will offer multiple eFormats of all past releases.

For more recent LegumeMan news, take a look at our cute blog. For less LegumeMan news, please watch this video of someone's father dancing.

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther


Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 


 

10/05/12

Hammered

Stupendously grand news, folk! We haven’t been this excited since our last attempt to milk a cow ended in spontaneous udder combustion. We are very happy little Legumemites to announce that the latest installment in the Gerlach Library has been released. LegumeMan Books presents a brand spanking new edition of LAKE MOUNTAIN for your visual-reading* pleasure!

At Lake Mountain, Death is only the beginning…

Her name is Raven…Raven – a bird of large size, with black lustrous plumage and raucous voice, who feeds chiefly on carrion or other flesh. The Raven is mischievous and thievish, and is regarded as an evil omen and of mysterious character. Quick-sighted, sagacious and bold, Ravens take away by force; to seize or divide and spoil. They plunder. They devour voraciously; feed hungrily or greedily; they prey on or upon. Her friend is Amber… Thrown out of home by her alcoholic father, and with no place to stay, Raven is the only friend Amber has. Raven takes her in and lets her stay in her small trailer at the Pine Hill Trailer Park. Amber relies on Raven, she needs her, she can’t live without her… But then there’s the body. And the need to flee… And the road to Lake Mountain is their only hope of escape. Until they meet Tyler…and everything changes. For their destinies lie along the long, lonely track to Lake Mountain. It’s gonna be one hell of a road-trip…

Steve Gerlach’s Lake Mountain. Because after death, only love remains…

So, all you Gerlach fanatics (or Gerlachnatics, as I call them),'Lake Mountain' is now available in paperback and Kindle formats and in other eVersions via Smashwords.

For more information about 'Lake Mountain' go here.

All pre orders will be shipped as soon as our supplies have arrived, and Mr. Gerlach has anointed each with love splash.

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

*LegumeMan does not hold with the new “suppository style” of reading extolled by such mavericks as Ambling Hymen. We believe rectal absorption of knowledge is a fallacy and nothing but pain and heartbreak will accompany the insertion of Lake Mountain into the anus.


 

10/05/12

YOU WANT MORE CHEAP LEGUME?

Our last 99 cent LegumeMan Kindle sale was such a buff success that we're continuing it with a whole new swag of titles beneath the considerable light of our sweaty bargain torch.

Love Lies Dying
Autopsy 1: Flesh of the Dead
By Steve Gerlach

We’re all hiding something...
A killer stalks the dark streets of Matheson, hell-bent on exacting bloody, violent revenge.
After carefully choosing the victims, the killer carves a symbol deep into their chests, mutilating the bodies before dumping them.
There is no trace, no lead, no clue as to the killer’s identity.
With the city in lockdown and the media outrage growing, the police struggle to find answers. Meanwhile, the body-count rises...
Who is the Anarchy Killer and who has the smarts to track them down? Who will put their life on the line to discover the truth?
Anarchy is out there, and the night is young...

The first installment in a series of three novellas.

Buy for Kindle for 99 cents here. More info here.


Should Have Killed the Kid
The Tumours Made Me Interesting
By Matthew Revert

Hello, my name is Bruce Miles and my life means nothing to no one.

When I was 12, I watched a falcon carry away my father, leaving me to care for my mother while a mysterious illness slowly transformed her into an arm. Events like these tend to ensure a bleak future and, until recently, I was making good on that promise.

I was the sort of person you didn’t notice. I wasn’t worth noticing. Just a talentless nobody destined to die alone and unremembered.

Then I was diagnosed with terminal cancer and everything turned around.

You see, it turns out I have a gift for illness. My tumours aren’t like other tumours. They’re special. And now that I’m going to die, my once miserable life may actually be worth living. There’s this lady, Fiona. She’s what you’d call a sickness enthusiast and she has a plan that’ll rocket me to superstardom in the underground world of disease fetishists. With her help, I’m going to chase the elusive perfect tumour that will be both my legacy and the key to being something I’ve never been…

…interesting..

Buy for Kindle for 99 cents here. More info here.


10 a boot stomping
Tales of Sin and Madness
By Brett McBean

Brett McBean (The Last Motel, The Mother) continues his exploration of the dark side of the human character by bringing you twenty-one tales of sin and madness. From zombies roaming the Australian outback, to psychopaths roaming New York City, McBean plunges the depths of human depravity, and delves into a sick and sordid world of serial killers, Manson-like cults, even road kill and cheap souls. 

Buy for Kindle for 99 cents here. More info here.

 

A Million Versions of Right
Spare Key
By R. Frederick Hamilton


...This was the way it always started. First he would see them and the air would thicken. Then the image of them bound. Then came the screaming and the Red Room would appear with the glittering, new meathook waiting just for them. And there in the Red Room he could play for as long as he wanted... The debut novella by R. Frederick Hamilton is a graphic and disturbing story of urban horror.

Buy for Kindle for 99 cents here. More info here.


Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther


 

16/04/12

Hammered

The most common question we get asked here at LegumeHQ is, "have you ever... ever felt like this? Have strange things happened, are you going round the twist?". A close second involves the song 'Mustang Sally', and straight after that, "when is the free series coming back?". The answer to all three of those questions is, "right now!".

Some of you may be familiar with R. Frederick Hamilton due to his risque photographs in Smash Hits magazine back in 1993. Others of you may know him as the author of LegumeMan Favourites, 'Spare Key' and 'Should Have Killed the Kid'. We're very lucky to have a brand new short story called 'The Contest' to offer as a free download to our LegumeChums.

In a world where your existence is of little importance, what would you do to get noticed? Would you tear yourself apart in order to attract the adulation of internet gore junkies? Have you ever been so desperate for attention that you'd do anything?

Download 'The Contest' here. For more information about R. Frederick Hamilton, go here.

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther



 

15/04/12

YOU WANT CHEAP LEGUME?

Well... this is a rather forward request! It's not that I'm against it per se, I'm just not used to people being so up front. No, no, no... don't feel bad. I grew up in genteel surrounds where speaking of money was punishable by rectal cactus. When you just blurted the request out like that, my buttocks clenched.

So now we've put that behind us, let's consider your request. You want cheap Legume and I want to provide for you like your father used to before he walked in on you rubbing yourself against the Charles Barkley poster in your bedroom that one time. So how about this...

For a limited time, the following LegumeMan Kindle titles have been reduced to 99 cents! You probably spend more on your daily enema.

Love Lies Dying
Love Lies Dying
By Steve Gerlach

She was on his sofa, reading a book. She was a complete stranger. 

And she was naked… 

Her name was Zoe, and she had survived a horrific ordeal. 

Fleeing from trouble and the threat of death, Zoe turned to her best friend, Helen. Driving for three days straight, she arrived cold and hungry on Helen’s doorstep. 

But Helen was at work. Leaving Helen’s husband, John, and Zoe together…all alone. 

Having escaped from a life of terror and violence, Zoe was sure she could hide out with them for a while. Just long enough to get back on her feet and her life in order again. 

John’s only mistake was to agree she could stay with them… 

Because Zoe’s past was fast catching up with her. 

And that past would draw them all into a game of life and death. 

By letting her stay, John had no idea of the horror that would be visited on them all… 

For someone had a game to finish – a game that could turn very deadly indeed. 

LOVE LIES DYING 

You always love, 
The ones you hurt...

Buy for Kindle for 99 cents here. More info here.


Should Have Killed the Kid
Should Have Killed the Kid
By R. Frederick Hamilton

At the time it seemed so cut and dry. When the old man held out the knife and asked him to kill the kid, Dave didn’t think twice. The man was clearly nuts. Raving about an apocalypse that only the boy’s death could stop. Dave had done what any rational person would have – knocked the lunatic out. A lucky punch and all had been over… or so he thought.

Locked in a skyscraper in Melbourne, Dave Thomas has ample time to rue and lament his decision. As he watches the city burn, it’s a little difficult to escape the enormity of his mistake.

Claws have invaded the shadows.

Billions are dead.

Continents in ruin.

And to rub salt in the wounds, the only hope for salvation is to face that decision all over again.

He really should have killed the kid.

Buy for Kindle for 99 cents here. More info here.


10 a boot stomping
10 A BOOT STOMPING
20 A HUMAN FACE
30 GOTO 10
By Jess Gulbranson

One minute you've got a quiet life.

No friends except those in your record collection. Free from technological slavery. Just pizza for dinner and a job you love at the local record store...

Funny how things spiral out of control...

Next thing you know you're embroiled in some poorly thought out conspiracy. Cavorting with shady government officials, scientists and recently resurrected music legends. A cog in a baffling plot that keeps getting stranger by the minute.

Getting shot at, kidnapped, trailed by possible alien-human hybrids. Forced to endure not only potentially dangerous scientific experiments but also the crackpot philosophical musings of possible agent/probable nutcase Jones. A man on a mission that could lead to complete knowledge... or the complete destruction of the world.

And all because you did a little accidental necromancy on your way home from work.

Funny how things spiral out of control...

Buy for Kindle for 99 cents here. More info here.

 

A Million Versions of Right
A Million Version of Right
By Matthew Revert


Between these covers lies a cornucopia of wonders.

Step into a world that defies all logic. One of Masturbatory headphones, diabolically toppled comb-jars, moustache-filled ejaculations, malfunctioning bookmarks, bricolage scrotums, wank fairies and a poorly conceived theory regarding wall stability. A world where ball popping is the only solution to the scrotum's poor aesthetic qualities and true love can lead a man to transpose menstruation across gender lines. Not to mention a blink so immensely powerful that mild abrasion can ensue. There’s also a lime.

Truly some of the strangest stories ever told. In his debut collection Matthew Revert has concocted a bizarre vortex of fiction by turns hilarious, disturbing, thought-provoking and just plain odd. A Million Versions of Right will force you to find logic in the illogic and shun anything resembling common sense.

Like the faecal scrawl of a madman without the unpleasant smell.

Buy for Kindle for 99 cents here. More info here.


Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther



 

11/04/12

Hammered

Okay... I want you all to sit on your hands until they go numb. That way, after you slap yourself, you won't know if it was you, or some slaphappy phantom. We folks here at LegumeMan Books are very happy to announce yet another release, Ray Fracalossy's, TALES FROM THE VINEGAR WASTELAND.

Holy wow! I hear the resonance of your self-slap and I'm shocked! We have plans to release a grimoire of 'slap balms' in the future, but not soon enough to ease the burn on your shocked face. Why do you listen to me? WHY?

Those of you playing at home may be aware that 'Tales From The Vinegar Wasteland' was released some time back, but it tragically went out of print. Being a favourite of ours at Legume HQ wouldn't stand for this. For that reason, we've reintroduced it to the world in a stunning new edition with bonus stories and a handsome new design.

One part surrealistic farce, one part psychotic hallucination, this story begins with a visit from a friend, Anton, who has been slowly losing his face. Next, meet Gregory, whose home now includes a non-existing room. Add in a neighbor who screams for no apparent reason, the joys of purchasing photographs of events that never happened, and attempts to read the book, What You'll Never Finish, and you might begin to fathom this journey that describes the circle of life and death, isolation and romantic infatuation, and the discovery of who, or what, God really is. Like a modern day Alice in Wonderland for grown-ups.

'Tales From The Vinegar Wasteland' is now available via in paperback and Kindle formats and in other eVersions via Smashwords.

For more information about 'Tales From The Vinegar Wasteland', go here.


Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther



 

09/04/12

Hammered

It's full steam ahead at Legume HQ. 2012 has kicked into gear and excessively watching TED talks has given us the requisite motivation needed to go wilder than 10-year-olds at a Rad Gravity party

We are very happy to announce our first eBook only release - Steve Gerlach's 'Within His Reach'. Within his reach is a Twilight Zone-infused tale with a high creep factor.

Arnold Enright has been a prisoner for the past six years, confined to a cell not of his own making. Sentenced to viewing his world's reflection in a mirror and with little hope of escape, he is a man whose whole existence can be measured in feet and inches, his only companion the relentless wheeze of an iron lung. 

In this hopeless life of scientific dead-ends, Arnold Enright is left to ponder, to regret, to constantly remember what was, and what might have been. Forever praying for an escape route and a way to end it all, Mr Enright is about to discover his prayers have been answered, but in a way he could never have imagined

Within His Reach is now available for the Kindle and in other eVersions via Smashwords.

For more information about Within His Reach, go here.


Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther


 

 

07/04/12

Hammered

Help G.N. Braun and LegumeMan Books celebrate the regional launch of HAMERED: Memoir of an Addict. For any Australian readers living in Victoria, the details are as follows:

When: Saturday 14th April, 2012
Where: Best Community Development, 26-28 St Andrews Avenue, Bendigo
Time: 5pm - 7pm

For those of you residing outside Victoria, you are all most cerftainly welcome, but we understand it may be difficult for you to make the trip.

Hammered is now available in paperback and Kindle versions and, of course, you can pick a copy up from our shop. Before doing this, we recommend heading over to G.N. Braun's website where you can pick yourself up a signed copy from the author himself.

For more information about Hammered: Memoir of an Addict, go here.

We would also like to thank everyone who turned up for the official Hammered and Notions Unlimited Bookstore launch. It was a wonderful success. It was fantastic to see so many people turn up to support local independent books.

Hammered Launch 01

Hammered Launch 02

hammered launch 03

Chuck Mackenzie
Thanks Chuck!


Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

29/02/12

Hammered

LegumeMan Books is very happy to announce the release of G.N. Braun's, HAMMERED: MEMOIR OF AN ADDICT. Hammered represents a first for us here at LegumeMan as it marks our arrival into the world of non-fiction. Hammered is an all-too-real account of Melbourne drug culture. Braun spares no detail in documenting his introduction to drugs, the descent into addiction and his ultimate escape. It's a harrowing read that manages to avoid cliche and preaching. Hammered also acts as a fascinating (and horrifying) tour of Victoria's drug culture - particularly within Melbourne. Hammered is a redemptive tale that pulls no punches.

Hammered is now available in paperback and Kindle versions and, of course, you can pick a copy up from our shop. Before doing this, we recommend heading over to G.N. Braun's website where you can pick yourself up a signed copy from the author himself.

For more information about Hammered: Memoir of an Addict, go here.


Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther


 

 

26/01/12

Auopsy Steve Gerlach

LegumeMan Books would like to wish approximately 3% of our audience a happy Australia Day! To celebrate this curious holiday, we're offering a special price on one of LegumeMan's classic titles (by a non-Australian author, of course!)

For a limited time, you can pick up the Kindle version of Garrett Cook's brilliant meta-fictitious marvel, 'Archelon Ranch' for just 99 cents.So head on over to Amazon, feed the hamster powering your Kindle a pick it up.

For more information about Archelon Ranch, go here.


Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther


 

 

17/12/11

Auopsy Steve Gerlach

So the year draws to another close, but before it does, we here at LegumeMan thought we might sneak one more book out there. Australian horror maven, Steve Gerlach, has bestowed upon us the first part in a brand new three-part trilogy.

For your reading pleasure, LegumeMan books is pleased to present AUTOPSY 1: FLESH OF THE DEAD.

We’re all hiding something...

A killer stalks the dark streets of Matheson, hell-bent on exacting bloody, violent revenge.

After carefully choosing the victims, the killer carves a symbol deep into their chests, mutilating the bodies before dumping them.

There is no trace, no lead, no clue as to the killer’s identity.
With the city in lock down and the media outrage growing, the police struggle to find answers. Meanwhile, the body-count rises...

Who is the Anarchy Killer and who has the smarts to track them down? Who will put their life on the line to discover the truth?

Anarchy is out there, and the night is young...

If you harbour any vague of hope of getting this book before Christmas, go to Amazon NOW. Our supplies will be available soon and all orders will ship right up to the Christmas break.

We hope you all have a horny holiday period and come out of smelling like roses (the chocolates). Thank you to everyone for your continued support, especially during this extended economic clusterfuck. It means the world.



Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther


 

 

 

21/10/11

THE TUMOURS MADE ME INTERESTING

LegumeMan Books is gearing up to order minimum chips in honour of the release of Matthew Revert's eagerly anticipated, 'The Tumours Made Me Interesting'.

'The Tumours Made Me Interesting' is Matthew Revert's first book since the Wonderland Award nominated collection, 'A Million Versions of Right' and represents a brave step forward.

You can pick this book up from our shop or you can hop over to Amazon and buy it in paperback or Kindle formats.

While you're at it, why don't you check out Matthew Revert's newly launched website, www.matthewrevert.com

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

 

08/08/11

THE LAST MOTEL

LegumeMan Books is very happy to announce the re-release of Brett Mc'Bean's 'The Last Motel'. Rather than bang on about the enormity of this release, I'd urge you to direct your browsers here: www.lastmotelthemovie.com.

As you can see, this is no ordinary book release. A limited edition, lettered version of this title has nearly sold out. If you want to get your hands on one of the few copies available, go here. The limited edition includes:

- A copy of The Last Motel signed by author, Brett McBean
- Reproductions of five lobby cards that accompanied the film's original theatrical release
- An A3 reproduction of an original poster that accompanied the film's release
- The entire soundtrack composed by Lucio Cardio
- A copy of the theatrical trailer

The standard trade paperback, as always, is available directly from our shop, or from Amazon (as well as many other online stores).

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

09/07/11

COMING SOON


www.lastmotelthemovie.com

 

 

 

30/05/11

Boy! Can you believe it's the 30th already? It seems like only yesterday it was 1993. Do you remember how cool 1993 was? Mustard was only available in vats, lamps stopped working and Facebook ran away to Norway to marry Gavin. Bring back the good old days, I always say. Until that becomes possible, let's continue existing in the horrifying now!

On May 14th, the very gracious, Chuck McKenzie hosted a LegumeMan signing at his Dymocks store in Southland. All of the Australian Legumes were present, as the below photo will attest. A Big thank you to Chuck for his kindness. We hope to be back soon.


(clockwise starting top-left) R. Frederick Hamilton, Matthew Revert, Steve Gerlach, Andrew Gallacher and Brett McBean.

 

 

 

 

13/03/11

SHOULD HAVE KILLED THE KID.

The long-awaited and much anticipated follow up to R. Frederick Hamilton's SPARE KEY is finally upon us! SHOULD HAVE KILLED THE KID is now available for your reading pleasure.

The apocalyptic tale of regret is an absolute treat from start to finish. It also rates as the most cataclysmic tale we've ever unleashed upon the world to date.

It will be available to purchase from our shop shortly. In the meantime, you can find this book at Amazon. It's also available for the Kindle.

More information available here.

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

 

07/02/11

LegumeMan hits the Kindle

The Legume eBook beaver has been hard at work engaging in technological wizardry in order to bring us up to date with the modern world. All of our titles are now available to purchase from the Amazon Kindle store for $4.95 USD each. They've received an enthusiastic response, so thanks to everyone who has already purchased one of these eBabies.

Check out LegumeMan's Kindle page right here.

Don't have a Kindle?

Well I hate to be the one to break it to you, bud, but you're just not cool. You're lucky though... at LegumeMan we embrace melvins (being as we are melvins ourselves). We have our titles available in myriad other eBook formats. You can find us on iBooks, Barnes and Noble to name a few. The easiest place to pick these other formats up though is probably our Smashwords storefront. Check it out right
here
.

Mailing List

The more observant readers out there may have noticed the form at the top of this page. This form will allow you to join out official mailing list. We'll be mailing out our first update soon, so join early and you may just get some freebies. All you need to do is give us your email address.

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

14/01/10

LegumeMan Books is happy to announce the release of Brett McBean's TALES OF SIN AND MADNESS

Happy New Year, LegumeFiends! Astrologically speaking, 2010 was the worst in over 300 years. This only matters in as much as it's unrelated - kinda like legally acknowledged married couples. We've decided to lift the cosmological funk with one of the best ways to kick off a new year to date... CHIN DANCING!!!

We've also decided to release Brett McBean's TALES OF SIN AND MADNESS. Horror fans still hurting after missing the blink or you'll miss it previous edition will be delighted to know that this is an affordable edition for all!

So mosey on over to this page for more information and then consider buying this'n. This is our first book also available for the Kindle.

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

12/12/10

BIG ANNOUNCEMENTS!

It has all been happening here at Legume HQ of late. We're gearing up for our biggest year to date. 2011 is the year we're going to try and convince a small number of you to call THE YEAR OF THE LEGUME.

AUSTRALIAN HORRORGANZA!

LegumeMan is very proud to welcome Australian horror fiction luminaries, Brett McBean and Steve Gerlach into our fold. These names will be very familiar to many horror fans around the world. McBean and Gerlach are two of the best horror writers Australia has to offer.

TALES OF SIN AND MADNESS by Brett McBean

Coming up very soon, we will be re-releasing McBean's fantastic short story collection, TALES OF SIN AND MADNESS. This has been out of print longer than the Sega Dreamcast and we couldn't be happier to bring it to you. The release of SIN AND MADNESS represents just the first in more McBean books to come. It's going to be sweeter than the first time Pacey kissed his teacher in the first season of Dawson's Creek.

LOVE LIES DYING by Steve Gerlach

Following hot on the cankles of TALES OF SIN AND MADNESS, we will be bringing you the highly sought after, LOVE LIES DYING by the great Steve Gerlach. Gerlach is most widely known for his Leisure release, RAGE, but this only touches the tip of the ice cube. Stay tuned to LegumeMan, because we will be bringing you plenty more Gerlach surprises. This is only the beginning.

My word of advice to eBay fiends and collectors... start selling your out of print Gerlach and McBean now.

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

Thanks to everyone who made the launch of Andrew Gallacher's, SNAKE JAW, at PolyEster Books such a great night. Please enjoy the slightly gay commemorative collage below

 

28/11/10

Snake Jaw Book Launch

If you're in Melbourne this Friday (3rd December), please come and visit us for the official launch of Andrew Gallacher's, Snake Jaw. Pick up some exclusive ephemera and meet some great authors:

Place: PolyEster Books, Brunswick Street, Fitzroy
Date: Friday 3rd December
Time: 7:30pm - 10:30pm

Celebrations will continue afterward across the road at Bar Open. All welcome.

We hope to see you there.

 

 

 

 

28/10/10

LegumeMan Books is proud to announce the release of Andrew Gallacher's SNAKE JAW.

In our efforts to find extreme and unusual fiction, we sometimes surprise ourselves by what we encounter. Andrew Gallacher's, SNAKE JAW is one such book. This is by far the most intensely unpleasant book we've released and we couldn't be happier! Everyone in the horror world seems to have made quite a deal of the film THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE. Well imagine if that film actually lived up to its promise? This is what you get with SNAKE JAW - a chilling, graphic tale of body horror.

This book also marks LegumeMan's first substantially illustrated effort. Gallacher has populated this book with a series of illustrations that take the themes within and build upon it.

I speak without hyperbole when I say that this is destined to become an underground classic. This is what LegumeMan is all about!

More info here. Pick it up from our store.

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

14/10/10

The LegumePeeps have been busier than mustard at a hotdog convention lately. We're gearing up to release Andrew Gallacher's profoundly unpleasant, Snake Jaw and creating something that can only be described as 'dock perfection' in our down time.

As you prep your salivate systems, we're very happy to present you with another addition to our free series, 2+2=5 by Rick McQuiston. 'What?' I hear you ask... '2+2 most definitely does NOT equal 5', you continue, labouring the point somewhat. Buck up, sailor! We're not crazy in the coconuts - it's a story!!! It's a good one too, so give it an eyeball. Give it a read right here.

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

13/08/10

It's a day of celebration at LegumeMan HQ at the moment and I'll tell you for why: our latest release, THE PLACE IN BETWEEN by the grim Reverend Steven Rage, has just been released. This is perhaps the darkest collection we've set loose into the world. It drips with more menace than Charles Manson with a cold (coz his nose drips... get it???). It's available on Amazon and will shortly be available to purchase in both hardcopy and electronic format from our shop.

Find out more about this screwy book here.

Some of you are probably sitting on your traffic cones and thinking to yourselves, 'you know, I'm relatively satisfied with what LegumeMan have offered me today'. For those of you thinking such limiting thoughts, I'd also like to present a new addition to our free series. This is a tale penned from one Edmund Colell. Rumour has it that Edmund's real identity is justified.

Find out more about Edmund Colell's 'Eating' right here.

So there you have it. More excitement than a lone wang at a glory hole convention. Many more wonderful announcements are forthcoming. Until then, check out this lovely interview by LegumeMan's, Jason Wuchenich over at The Author's Speak. Good work Jason, ya poop obsessed nimrod!

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

Insurrection

 

29/07/10
Happy Christmas in July!!! (just...)

Here at LegumeMan, we like to celebrate most of the occasions you could throw our way. We've always felt the most meaningful occasion was Christmas in July. It speaks to us from a uniquely human perspective. Everything about it is meaningful. However, due to contractual issues, we're forbidden from celebrating Christmas in July in a timely manner. We have to abide by an absurd rule that we can only acknowledge it on the very last day of July.

Don't let contractual unpleasantness stop you from enjoying GN Braun's blood soaked tale of yuletide killing sprees. We are possibly happy to present you with the latest addition to our free series, Insurrection Snowy Mountain Style (aka don't fuck with the fat man).

Download it here. Merry fucking Christmas!

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

 

24/07/10
Taste the excitement!

Feast yon eyes on this LegumeChums. This hot picture here will be the hyper-rad art that the cover of Reverend Steven Rage's tome "The Place In Between" shall bear. And if you think that's a mouthful then you haven't tackled a leviathan's balls. This book will be released on August 1st-ish and is now available for preorder here. Rage's book is a stylishly macabre trip into the realms most would prefer not to contemplate so gird your loins kiddys. This one is gonna melt yon face.

More info here.

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

Trust Me

 

21/07/10

It's been an absurdly busy time lately at LegumeMan HQ. We have more going on than an episode of that cult soap, 'Passions'. As we feverishly prepare for the release of Reverend Steven Rage's 'The Place In Between' and the birth of our first hell baby, Trevor, we've been able to take a little sidestep. During that (admittedly epic) sidestep, we stumbled upon a fantastic little tale by fellow Australian resident, Bryce Stevens called 'Trust Me'. If you like your horror to induce paranoia and eliminate your ability to trust others, this is the story for you.You can find this, and all other stories from our free series, here. Enjoy and thank you for your continued support.

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 


 

21/07/10
LegumeMan Vs The Wonderland Book Awards

It is with great pleasure we announce that two of LegumeMan's 2009 releases have made the final ballot for this year's Wonderland Book awards. Congratulations to Garrett Cook, whose book, 'Archelon Ranch' is nominated in the best novel category and to Matthew Revert, who was nominated for 'A Million Versions of Right' in the best collection category. Not bad going for our first year of operation.

The Wonderland Book awards is dedicated to outstanding books in the Bizarro fiction genre. The winners are nominated by attendees at the annual BizarroCon, which this year is being held in November. If you live near Portland and have a hankering for the nominated LegumeMan Books, get down there and represent.

Good luck to Garrett and Matthew. May the cockdribble be with you.

Full list of nominees:

BEST NOVEL

“Fistful of Feet” by Jordan Krall
“Shatnerquake” by Jeff Burk
“Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland” by Carlton Mellick III
“Archelon Ranch” by Garrett Cook
“Ass Goblins of Auschwitz” by Cameron Pierce

BEST COLLECTION

“Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars” by Cody Goodfellow
“A Million Versions of Right” by Matthew Revert
“Sex Dungeon for Sale” by Patrick Wensink
“Screams from a Dying World” by David Agranoff
“See Jack” by Russell Edson

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

28/06/10

I tell you what, it's sure been a fair whack of time between updates hey, LegumeChums? This is something I apologise for with all the fervor of a next morning alcoholic. We have a treat for you though, which we hope will satisfy. The next story in our perpetual free series has just been uploaded and it's another doozy. We're honoured to introduce unto the LegumeFold, the very talented and downright talented, J.S. Breukelaar. When J.S. isn't writing, I'm led to believe she does other things.

Check out Lion Man right here.

In other news, we're gearing up for the release of Reverend Steven Rage's brilliantly macabre 'The Place In Between'. We hope to have it ready soon. We also have plenty more downright sexy announcements that we can't wait to share with you. Watch this space... never stop...

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

 

11/04/10

LegumeMan Books is obliged to announce the release of '10 A BOOT STOMPING 20 A HUMAN FACE 30 GOTO 10' by Jess Gulbranson.

It's the sort of title that makes you go, "Wha?!" After a short while it sinks in though, suddenly becoming something brilliant. We're extremely happy to announce the release of Jess Gulbranson's '10 A BOOT STOMPING 20 A HUMAN FACE 30 GOTO 10'. Thanks to everyone who snapped up the preorders so quickly. Y'all about to find songs named after you on a CD soundtrack made by the multi-talented Gulbranson himself.

As a way to welcome this wondrous tome into the LegumeMan fold, we've announced a competition (LegumeMan's first). Would you like to win the entire LegumeMan back-catalogue? Of course you might! Check out this page and go for it.

More information can be found here. It's also available to purchase on the ubiquitous wonder that is, Amazon.

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

 

07/04/10

We've been busier than Sarah Jessica Parker's stylist lately at the ol' LegumeHQ. We have more on our plate than a depressed binge eater. We're mere moments from releasing Jess Gulbranson's inexplicably awesome, 10 A BOOT STOMPING 20 A HUMAN FACE 30 GOTO 10 as well as preparing morsels of fiction so tasty that your grandchildren will be born with dancing taste buds.

In the meantime, why not kick back, fire up your old pdf viewing machine and give G.N Braun's horrifically charming revenge tale, Bubba Wants YOU a read. If Mr. Braun sounds familiar to you, that's because not too long ago he graced our free series with another charming tale, Boneyard Smack.

Check out Bubba and Boneyard here.

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

Ian

 

14/03/10

Welcome Back Free Series!

Well it sure took a while but we're back with a bang. After more months than is really appropriate, the LegumeMan free series is proud to present Shane Jiraiya Cumming's fantastic, 'Ian'. The concept of this short was too tantilising for us to pass up. Imagine if every man you'd ever met was called Ian? It's a simple concept but the more you think about it, the more warped it becomes.

Shane knows how to write a good yarn, which has earned him a reputation for being one of Australia's primo horror writers. We're delighted to be able to offer Ian for your reading pleasure. This is Shane's second appearance in our free series. If you haven't done so already, you should really check out 'Itch'.

So enjoy. More free goodness coming soon.

Find Ian here.

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

01/03/10

The Psychedelic Vomit is Here!

As of today, LegumeMan is proud as winter blankets to announce the release of Jason Wuchenich's 'Dinner Bell for the Dream Worms'. Everything that's ever been good about anything is present in this charmingly vulgar book. Sure, that sounds like hyperbole of the highest order but I dare you to make that claim to the dedicated team of statisticians we've had working around the clock. They have provided thousands of pages of raw data that prove, beyond any reasonable doubt, that Dinner Bell contains EVERYTHING good. You'll throw up in your mouth a little, but it will taste like love. Your underwear will soil itself, but it will feel like heaven.

Thank you to everyone who already purchased this book.

More info available here. Purchase this filthy bastard here.

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

dinner bell for the dream worms

 

26/02/10

The Psychedelic Vomit is Coming!


It has been looming like the ever present threat of arrest a sexual predator must experience. For months it's been fermenting like an old man's underpants. Now finally, after having putrefied into bubbling pus, Jason Wuchenich's, 'Dinner Bell for the Dream Worms' is about to arrive!

The release of Dinner Bell is LegumeMan's first for the year. We're so pleased with how this turned out and we have no doubt that Mr. Wuchenich will soon be a force in the world of gross-out bizarro. This will be available for purchase in a matter of days. The official release date is the 1st of March and it should be available from Amazon at this time. More information is available here.

We'd also like to apologise for the tumbleweeds blowing through the free series at the moment. This will be rectified shortly. So much to do and a realistically adequate amount of time.

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

22/01/10

Happy new year and all that jazz. 2010 looks set to be the year that followed 2009 like a rapist. We have some gnarly stuff due this year that we hope y'all dig. We'll be announcing upcoming releases shortly, so get your diaries and sticker sheets out and get ready.

We'll also be kicking the free series back into gear in the next couple of weeks with another story by the great, Shane Jiraiya Cummings. Please note, we now have a new e-mail address for free series entries. You can submit these entries here: freeseries@legumeman.com

Unsolicited submissions for our print series have now closed. Thanks to everyone who submitted. Many of you should have heard back from us now. Those who haven't, will very shortly.

In other news, we have decided to extend our 2 for 1 eBook deal until the release of our next book, so make use of it.

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 


 

22/12/09

Merry Christmas from the LegumePeople

With 2009 fading like a canker sore on the mouth of history, we wanted to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has supported us in our first 12 months of existence. We really appreciate it.

2010 is shaping up to be a very interesting year for us. Some great releases looming on the horizon that we think you're going to dig. We've had a lot of submissions come our way and we apologise to anyone we haven't gotten back to yet. We will soon - promise.

So please, stick around for 2010.

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

12/11/09

LegumEbooks has launched!

LegumeMan Books is very happy to announce the launch of LegumEbooks. As of today, all of our titles are also available to purchase in an electronic format. What's more, they're only $3.50! We've got you by the balls too - we're so obscure that it really isn't possible to download this stuff for free yet (maybe you can make a purchase and be a trendsetter).

The main reason I'd recommend you give one of our eBooks a purchase is because most of the money goes straight into the author's pockets. It's hard being a writer at the best of times - this is amplified enormously if you write for a small press. Give them some love. It's a relatively low risk investment from a financial point of view.

Special offer to mark the launch of LegumEbooks

Until the end of the year, purchase any eBook from our catalogue and get another one of your choice for free!

Purchase an eBook here.

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

 

 

09/11/09

I bugged him so much that he finally caved

How damn happy am I? I'll tell you how happy I am - 30. That's right - 30. Since reading Ray Fracalossy's Tales from the Vinegar Wasteland, I've become pretty keen on the man and boy, did I let him know it. After convincing him that my misunderstanding of law would ensure any attempt to restrain me was useless, he gave in. So it is with a childish amount of glee that we present this wonderful addition to our free series.

Ray Fracalossy is one of my favourite absurdist writers (gee - really?) and I want him to be one of yours too. mOsbURAnD has a low word count but an impressively large scope. Basically, it's more than worth 5 minutes of your time. I dare you to prove me wrong.

Read it here.

A brief hiatus

While we focus on some upcoming books, the free series is going to take a break for a month or so. We've bombarded you with enough goodness for now. Never fear, we've got some great free stories coming up in the near future. Seriously though, there's some exciting developments around the corner. If you were us (and one day you will be), you'd take a break too.

The Bookmark that Didn't Work

The folks over at Australian Reader have been kind enough to publish a story from Matthew Revert's 'A Million Versions of Right' on their site. I dare you to read it and turn the no sales the book currently enjoys into some sales! It can be found here. More info on Matthew Revert's book can be found here.

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

21/10/09

Free stories in the boneyard

Wow, seriously, if I was employed to write newspaper headlines, I'd have been fired after my boss saw the dismal effort above. That's all by the by. Welcome to another edition of the free series.

G. N. Braun goes by many names - unfortunately I don't know any of them. I've been reliably informed that Boneyard Smack is one of his first stories to be published anywhere other than his mother's refrigerator. It's a right shame too. His writing chops are smothered with the most delectable gravy. I have a sneaking suspicion this won't be the only time he finds his work published.

Boneyard Smack is a short, sharp tale about heroin addiction, corrupt police gentlemen and death. This is also our first story presented in a grim, ultra black edition - all to enhance the misery one should feel when reading a story devoted to such unsavory subjects.

Read it here.

Coming mighty soon is the gloriously absurd mOsbURAnD by the wonderful Ray Fracalossy.

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

 

16/10/09

The Free Series Rolls Ever On

Anyone interested in Australian horror fiction should be familiar with Shane Jiraiya Cummings. If you're not, here's the perfect opportunity to rectify that. He's one of the best at what he does, which is why we're over the moon to be able to offer a story from his fantastic book 'Shards' (Brimstone Press 2009). Shane's an incredibly busy guy at the moment as he prepares for the release of a whole swag of books in the coming months. There's even a rumor that he may be releasing something on a nonsense, little upstart press that may or may not be us.

Itch is a fantastically warped piece of fiction that really gets under your skin (bad pun intended). It tells the unfortunate tale of a man with an insatiable itch that never abates. Despite the welts and the blood, the itch screams for attention and ultimately cannot be denied.

Read it here.

And if you like this piece, why not splash out on 'Shards'? It's unlikely that you'll be disappointed. And if you are, it most likely your catholic guilt searching for release.

On a personal note, I'm happy to announce that after typing it so many times, I've finally memorised how to spell Shane's middle name!

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

 

05/10/09

More Free Series Goodness

Quite a flurry of activity at the ol' LegumeMan HQ lately. Following hot on the heels of Michael Dhillon's tasty 'Orange Crush' we happily present D. A. Jackson's delightfully vulgar 'The Grinning Idiot'.

It wouldn't surprise me if I learned that this story was channeled while reading the stains in suspect toilet like tea leaves. It's the kind of tale that leaves you feeling dirty like post-mastubatory hands. In other words, it aligns brilliantly with the whole LegumeMan ethos.

D. A. Jackson is another one of the nutcase's working with the Modern Gentlemen underground comic series. His directorial hand has also been responsible for such gonzo cinematic gems as 'The Snuff Machine' and 'Cannibal Suburbia'. Basically, he peddles the kind of filth that us here at LegumeMan salivate over.

Unless you're profoundly blind, you've probably also noticed the amazing artwork to your left. This artwork comes courtesy of the depressingly talented Pierre Lloga, Melbourne-based artist and contributor for (you guessed it), Modern Gentlemen.

So, if you like your fiction filtered through the soiled stockings of a scat mistress, this is highly recommended.

Read it here.

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

 

03/10/09

New Addition to the Free Series

One of my personal highlights of the year has been Michael Dhillon's, 'The Cuckoo Parchment and the Dyke'. It's one of those special books that doesn't come along too often. It resonates like little else I've read and stands alone in terms of scope and content. It's for these reasons that I'm personally excited to welcome Michael Dhillon to the LegumeMan free series. 'Orange Crush' is one of those stories that is difficult to describe. You could call it a distinctly bizarre meditation on life, or a vaguely existential think piece - but neither description really does it justice. The best I can suggest is to download it and lose yourself in its unique charm. It's free and available right here.

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

27/09/09

Archelon Ranch Now Available!

It is with an alarmingly precise amount of pleasure that LegumeMan Books announces the release of Garrett Cook's 'Archelon Ranch'. The title is available to purchase from Amazon now. Our supplies are due to arrive early next week - feel free to place your order and we'll get it out to you as soon as it arrives.

Je ne suis pas un chapeau. Je suis un homme...

In an overgrown, primeval, jungle-city state, Bernard is a test subject for science experiments. His father and Professor Sagramour have been injecting him with hallucinogenic mud and reality affirming drugs so that one day man will be immune to the insanity inducing, zombifying sentient green mud that is choking the suburbs. But Bernard is beginning to display side effects. Experiencing greater and greater levels of Objectivity cause his consciousness to become one with entities as diverse as pterosaurs and martinis. In the mind of the tyrannosaurus he hears the call of Archelon Ranch, a primal paradise like no other. Will Bernard's unique talents be enough to get him out of the senseless prehistoric cyberpunk city or will dinosaurs, Sagramour's Standardizers and the desire to lose himself in other entities be too much?

More information is available here. So if you're hankering for a taste of existentialist, dystopian bizarro, this is the book for you.

Also...

We have a slew of wonderful additions to our free series coming soon from the likes of Shane Jiraiya Cummings, Michael Dhillon and David Jackson with plenty more to follow. Look out for them. We'll post more information as they appear online.

Let the night be,
The Brother's Gunther

 

 

 

20/09/09

Chapter one of 'Archelon Ranch' available to read.

As the release date of Garrett Cook's existential Bizarro mindfuck, 'Archelon Ranch' creeps ever closer, we have made the first chapter available to whet (or ruin) your appetite. Have a read right here. The October 1st release date looks suspiciously likely and Garrett should have a swag of copies at BizarroCon to bestow upon any interested parties. Word to the wise - get interested, this is a fantastic book!

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

20/09/09

A study in contrasts.

Just a quick note to alert fellow Legumites of a couple of reviews that have just popped up for R. Frederick Hamilton's 'Spare Key' in the last week. It's proving to be a deliciously divisive book with reviews occupying both sides of the spectrum.

First the bad - the really, really bad. The so bad that the stitches need stitches bad. The kind of review that should make anyone even considering purchasing Spare Key hang their head in shame. So, leading the charge in condemning Spare Key for the poorly written, gross out drivel that it is, is Craig Bezant from OzHorrorScope:

http://ozhorrorscope.blogspot.com/2009/09/review-spare-key-by-r-frederick.html

And then, as if reading a completely different, somehow non-sucky book, comes a review from America's Fatally Yours, courtesy of one Elaine Lamkin. This review extols the very things the first review condemns. All of a sudden, fans of horror are being urged to purchase the book - even enjoy it!

http://www.fatally-yours.com/horror-literature/book-review-spare-key-by-r-frederick-hamilton/

Mr Hamilton was even afforded the opportunity to explain himself in a wonderful interview that appeared a few days later.

So where does all of this leave the reader? Forced with a glut of books, each vying for your attention, at the mercy of conflicting opinion. If I were you (and one day I probably will be), I'd just kill myself because it's all too hard!

A sincere thank you to both Craig Bezant and Elaine Lamkin for taking the time to review Spare Key. It's appreciated in ways you'd find plain creepy.

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

03/09/09

Submissions are currently open!

Until December 1st, LegumeMan submissions are open for a reading period. So get those manuscripts in. More info can be found here.

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

 

25/08/09

Hello there my titular exclusives. The impending release of Garrett Cook's 'Archelon Ranch' draws ever closer. Information about said title has been made available here. The art work was brilliantly conceived by Jude Coulter-Pultz. An October release is still looking very likely. Keep checking back for information. Remember, if you didn't read it here, you probably read it somewhere else!

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

19/08/09

Hello chumlets. Welcome to another LegumeMan Books update. This update is primarily to announce the latest addition to our free series, 'Milk' by Melbourne-based artist, Andrew Gallacher. Andrew is best known for his work with the great Modern Gentlemen collective, who produce some truly outrageous comics firmly aligned with the underground tradition. Beyond that, his paintings have appeared in various exhibits and whatnot. 'Milk' marks Andrew's first foray into fiction outside of the comic format and it's a great one! Check it out here.

In other news, we're gearing up for the impending release of our next book, 'Archelon Ranch' by American unusualist, Garrett Cook. It's going to be a fantastic book and we're looking forward to unleashing it upon the world. We'll post coverart and more info soon. We're shooting for an October release so contort your fingers into a bone-cracking cross on behalf of us.

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

23/07/09

Just a quick update to announce the launch of the inventively titled "Underground Fiction Forum". This is a forum intended for the discussion of all things underground fiction related (coincidentally enough). It was started because it was proving quite difficult to find a forum that embraced underground fiction in its totality, so hopefully this fills a void. It is hosted by LegumeMan but it isn't really affiliated with LegumeMan, so feel free to come online and cyber bash the flip out of us.

Anyway, if this sounds like your cup of tea, please come on by and help build a fledgling community. It ain't much at the moment but there's potential for this to be a great underground hub. We can be found here, or you can click the 'forum' link in the menu bar. Both are fine choices.

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 


08/07/09

LegumeMan Books has managed to weasel its way into a bonafide bookshop. As of today, our titles are available to buy either in person or online from the fine people at Polyester Books in Melbourne. A big thanks goes out to everyone there for being so willing to take our stuff. If you're in the area, why not stop in a buy some underground ephemera.
Polyester Books can be found here.

In other news, a thoughtful, well written review was recently posted for Spare Key at [As if!]. A big thanks to Ross Murray for giving Spare Key such an in depth review. The review can be read here.

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

 

 

LegumeMan Books is proud to announce the release of

banner

30/06/09

If you think anything about the world makes sense, think again.

LegumeMan Books is very happy to announce the release of 'A Million Versions of Right' by Matthew Revert. A book that delves so impossibly deep into the realms of absurdity that it can't be good for your health. A book that will leave you scratching the skin from your head in confusion and planting the skin bits in your grandmother's garden. When no skin trees grow, you'll bemoan your very existence like an ennui-ridden character in a French New Wave film. Life doesn't make sense - why fight it?

Take a trip to our shop and see how many copies you can buy. It can also be found on Amazon (we're fairly sure the 1-3 weeks listed on Amazon is incorrect).

Copies purchased directly from us will ship early next week and come signed. More info on 'A Million Versions of Right' can be found here.

Let the night be,
The Brothers Gunther

 

LegumeMan Books © 2009 All Right Reserved